Take THAT Obesity!

I had a physical done last Friday. My first one since before I had kids. (bad girl!)

The exciting part of this appointment was that I had lost a bit of weight! It was a good week. I ate well. Drank more water. Exercised a few times. So I hop on the scale and it says 232.7. Woohoo!

Then came the dreaded BMI chart. My doctor dint draw attention to it, but it was on the wall behind me and I couldn't help myself.

Lo and behold, there was a breakthrough! That little bit of weight loss had taken me down from extremely obese to just plain old everyday obese!

SCORE!

It's the little things, folks.

However, this excitement is not going to last, I predict. I weigh in again tomorrow.

But today? Me and my obese self are feeling pretty good about things.

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Bring. It. On.

Today marks the beginning of my battle with the LB's.

Okay, that's not really true. It began over 6 years a go.

That fact alone makes me want to throw up.

SIX YEARS?!??! And I think I'm being nice to myself on that one. I might be more like 8 years. That's 1/3 of my life, just about.

WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN!??!?!

WHY?!?!?

I was super fit (and super cute!) in high school. I played three sports, trained all year, every sport had an off-season conditioning program and camps to attend, plus the teams I played on in the summer. I never stopped moving. I ate whatever I wanted!

*sigh* It was fabulous.

Then off to college I went. They had a McDonald's ON campus - heaven! I'd run down there and get me a two cheeseburger combo meal, large (duh!) with a coke. Yum!

That was really the only running I was doing, too...

And well, here we are. 6 or 7 or 8 years later. Plus a good 100 of those damn LB's.

And two beautiful children, might I add.

Yeah, I totally use them as my scapegoat. "You should have seen me before kids! I was smokin'!"

Not. The poundage was occurred BEFORE the kiddos came along. But I won't correct you. Think how you will!

So I started again. And again. And again to lose these damn LB's.

And then I started AGAIN yesterday.

One of these times it'll stick, right?

Here's hoping.

I hopped up on my scale yesterday.

Helloooooo 236. That was lovely.

Then I did a half hour on my Wii Active. It's bad if the low moderation is making you cry.

It doesn't help when your two year old is trying to help with the squats and pulling you lower and lower and lower...

Pain.

But hey, step one in the right direction?

Right?

As I sip my coke...

One step at a time.

Busy, busy!

More on the productive side today!

Breakfast: two pieces of toast

Lunch: McDonald's

Dinner/Snack: raisins and a banana

Today's problem was lack of time and lack of food. We went shopping late this evening, so things will improve tomorrow in the food department!

Water: 24 oz.

Exercise: none

I mismanaged my time this evening. I need to work on that. I'm so exhausted, but have so much to do! I NEED to make the time for myself and my body. It desperately needs it.

Tomorrow's Goals: drink 24 oz of water, exercise for 30 minutes.

Goodbye weekend!

The weekend is over. Thank goodness!

Tomorrow, I log everything.

Tomorrow, I drink water.

Tomorrow, I exercise.

Tomorrow, I focus on getting a good night's rest.

And for once, "tomorrow" won't just be some future date, it'll be the here and now.

I WILL DO IT.

Saturday's update.

Weekends are my downfall. That's the main reason I choose to weigh-in on Saturday mornings, before all the nonsense can occur.

Had a good breakfast this morning. Egg over-medium on toast with a slice of cheese and a little mayo. It has quickly become one of my favorite go-to morning meals!

We skipped lunch in lieu of a shopping excursion.

Dinner was out at On The Border. I had never eaten there before, and it was quite good! We all split some queso and chips. My meal was a plate of chicken enchiladas with cheese and a cream sauce.

Besides walking through the store, I had no exercise today.

The one positive was that I had no pop at all! I had a glass of cranberry juice with breakfast, lemonade with dinner, and water throughout the day. It's not a large amount, but I'll end up with a total of 24 oz before I go to sleep.

This behavior isn't what will make changes in my life and in my body.

The next two days will be hard, as we'll be away from home. But there's no point in "waiting" to start anymore. I keep waiting and waiting and putting it off, and here we are. 235 pounds later.

No more waiting.

September is here.

I think I set myself up for failure when I say things like, "I'm back for good!"

So I won't say that. Even if it is what I'm thinking!

I had family pictures taken at the beginning of July. I've gained a good 5 or 6 pounds since then.

I looked at the pictures today.

I died a little on the inside.

That can't possibly be ME?!?!

So it won't be.

I got this.

WHAT?!?

Has it been another month?

Goodness.

Tomorrow morning, weigh-in and goals.

Off we go, round 5689273891723817293!!!!!

Weight loss is super easy...NOT

Hello, blog world! I've been away for some time now...and I'm back. For good!

Maybe.

The crappy part about this process is knowing that I've really wanted to lose weight since January of 2009 - and here we are, June 2010, and I'm just a few pounds under where I was in 2009. Ummm, that's a lot of wasted time! I could be at goal weight right now!

That sounds amazing.

I wish I could snap my fingers. I know this isn't easy. However, it's certainly not as hard as I convince myself it is sometimes. Other times, it's really just freakin HARD.

So, blah!

That's all I got.

I weighed myself last week, thinking I need to face the damage, and I was at 229 lbs. That's actually not too horrible, so I've been fluctuating from 224 to 230 for the last year or so.

Saturday's are my weigh-in, but I didn't feel good, so I waited until this morning to weigh in. That stomach bug was on my side yesterday - totally looking for the silver lining!

Today, I'm down to 225 lbs.

This week I'm going to work on some basic things. I'm going to take some small steps.

School is done for my kid for the summer. The softball team I coach is done for the season. I have time to focus on me.

So, here we go.

Again.

Blah!

I'm still here!

Still here. Getting back into the swing of things.

I'm adopting a new attitude. I'm learning how to love myself just the way I am. Yes, I want to get healthy. Yes, I want to lose weight. But while I'm doing all that? I'm going to love myself.

It's amazing how the power of positive thinking changes things! I'm no longer staring at myself and critiquing everything and feeling sorry and ugly and fat. I really don't feel that way. I do feel beautiful! My husband loves me and tells me I'm beautiful constantly. I don't think he makes that up!

But for me, to be healthy, I'm going to do this. Because I love myself, I'm going to do this.

Today, I did a Walk Away the Pounds with Leslie Sansone video - 30 minutes, 2 miles. It is a great start.

Tomorrow's goals: 30 minutes of workout and 20oz of water.

Game time, people, it is game time!

Weigh In #3 - posted late

I did my weigh-in last Saturday. I had a semi-good week last week, but really only at the beginning of the week.

Previous weight: 225

Current weight: 224.5

This next weigh-in is in two days, and will be scary.

I shouldn't be scared of weigh-in days.

I've missed a few days...

The problem I've come across in my journey is how to adjust when life throws curveballs.

My youngest brother was in the pediatric intensive care unit this week.

One of my twin brothers, who I haven't seen in almost two years, was able to take leave from the Marines for a few days to be with our family.

The other of my twin brothers is stuck in Texas, far, far away.

My days have consisted of driving to and from the hospital, 40 minutes away, bringing clothes and books and other goodies. I've gone to my mom's house at least twice a day to check on my grandma and to feed the dog and cats. My meals have consisted of fast food in the car as I had no time to stop at home and make anything.

I wonder if I was further along in this journey would I be able to have a better handle on things when the unexpected occurs?

My youngest brother came home from the hospital today. Thank God, the prayers worked! My other brother will be going back to his base on Monday. Life is slowing down and returning to normal. That means I need to get back in the swing of things.

Day 15 - Back to blogging!

I really feel that keeping this blog updated is helpful in my journey. So, now that I'm caught up, let's talk about today!

FOOD: MUCH better than yesterday. Yesterday was crap. SERIOUS CRAP. Today, much better. I'm debating starting to log on here exactly what I'm eating. We shall see if that evolves!

WATER: None. Read tomorrow for a new water update!

EXERCISE: Tomorrow is my weigh-in day, so I wanted to make sure I got in a workout tonight. I'm pretty tired, and the idea of a hardcore cardio workout was pretty scary. So I opted to do the 2 mile Walk Away the Pounds video. WOW. SO much more intense than the 1 mile! Then I finished up with the 10 minute ab video, which was equally as intense. We will see what tomorrow brings!

OVERALL: Not bad. The fact that I've made it 15 days is pretty impressive. I know I can pick this up and kick it in gear!

Nervous about the weigh-in...

Day 14 - Two week mark!

How did I celebrate the two week mark?

BY DOING NOTHING.

Crap.

Day 13 - I hate when I get behind on updates!

Day 13 was Wednesday.

Food was ok.

Water was nonexistent.

Exercise was the 1 mile Walk Away the Pounds video. This time I did it while the Princess was at school. The Baby Boy was wide awake, and thought it was just hilarious to walk with mommy! :) He was trying to follow some of the steps, but he preferred to try and stomp on my feet while I was walking. Bless him, he's just adorable.

Good day, though!

Day 12 - Sit down before you read it!

That's right, people.

I exercised.

TWO DAYS IN A ROW!!

What now!?!?! WOOHOO!!!

FOOD: Didn't log calories today. To be honest, I don't know why I didn't. I had Sparkpeople up on my screen while I was working, so I'm not sure. I need to do better with keeping track.

WATER: None. However, that is my goal for tomorrow. Be gone, pop, be gone!

EXERCISE: I actually woke up early this morning with every intention to work out! I was so pumped, and so proud of myself! Then...the kids woke up. Literally within 5 minutes of me getting out of bed. Perfect! So I changed my plan and adapted to the situation. The Baby Boy took a nap after lunch, and I set up the Princess with some coloring goodies and some special toys, and I did another 1 mile Walk Away the Pounds video, followed by a 10 minute leg strengthening and toning video. Fabulous! It felt great!

GOALS FOR TOMORROW: I have two goals for tomorrow: 1. Drink 24 oz of water, and 2. Do the 1 mile walk in the morning and then a harder cardio video in the evening.

Alright, here we go!!!

Day 11 - Oh Monday, come and get me!

So Monday has come once again. Monday always seems like a start over for me. And it was!

FOOD: I didn't log as I should have. I ate bad - I left early this morning and did the school drop and pick up, then dropped kid A at the grandma's house, and carted kid B with me to the doctor. So I never ate breakfast. I was STARVING. And upset. Very, very upset. So I pulled into Wendy's and got a meal.

That's when it hit me.

I really AM an emotional eater. I think I knew it, deep down, but I've never had that fact smack me across the face before. It was an awakening.

Be sure, I didn't put my burger down or anything. Come on, that stuff is good!

But knowing, really KNOWING, that I do that...I think I can get a better handle on it.

Then I didn't eat dinner. So, oddly enough, I stayed within my calorie range. Not really the way to do it, though.

WATER: Tomorrow is another day. Have I said that before?

EXERCISE: After my enlightening trip through Wendy's, I knew I needed to push myself. I didn't have the energy, I wanted to just sit around and do nothing. So I pushed myself and got up and did a 1 mile walk with Leslie Sansone.

She is so awesome! She said something during this particular video: Good for you for making the choice to do this!

And she was right. I made that choice, and good for me! I did it! Thanks, Les. It made me feel kind of good about myself! So then I followed it up (it's about 22 minutes) with a 10 minute ab video. It was interesting, because it's ab work all done standing up. HOLY GEEZ. I'm already sore. But it was wonderful - that wore me out!

OVERALL: I got you, Monday. I hear ya, loud and clear. It's in my hands. I got this.

Day 10 - Huh?

How did I miss a whole day?

I know I did not exercise.

I know I did not drink water.

I know I stayed within my calories.

1 for 3.

I did work a lot. Yay for trying to make moola!

Um.

Really?

How the heck did I miss Sunday?????

Weigh In #2

Here it is, Saturday. I was nervous.

Previous weight: 225.5 lbs

Today's weight: 225 lbs

So, there ya have it. Half a pound closer. I'm holding on to that loss today, and using it to kick my big butt into overdrive. Half a pound a week is going to take me foreverrrrr to get where I want to be.

A loss is a loss is a loss....

So, I'm happy that I had a loss. I'm not happy that I didn't work as hard as I could have, thus not having as big of a loss as I had hoped.

But, I lost this week.

Go me. :)

Day 9 - Can I start over, again?

Today was going to be a challenge, I knew that going in. It's not a normal workout day, as I've yet to figure out how to workout with the husband hanging around. Mama's a bit self-conscious!

Food: Breakfast, fabulous, logged it in Sparkpeople, all was good. Lunch, not my best, but it was okay. Dinner, it was make-up Christmas with my mom, brother, and grandma today, as my mom had been sick with pneumonia over Christmas. We had pizza (festive! and oh so yummy!), I did well with only two pieces, had a small portion of ice cream for dessert. But...I just don't feel like I was in my calorie range. I didn't log anything, so that's a negative for me, too.

Water: Craaaaaaaaaap. Why do I forget to drink freakin water??????

Exercise: I cleaned the living room. Go me.

Blahhhhhhhhh. I want this. I do. I gotta work harder, though, or I'll be this size for eternity!!!!

Now, THAT is a scary thought.

Day 8 - Friday, a day late

Uh. I'm just posting for sake of posting.

Food: I did not document. I feel like I ate okay, but I chugged down the pop. Hadn't had any in a week or so. Calorie addition, like whoa!

Water: Who needs water when you have Faygo Red Pop?

Exercise: I have a real excuse this time. It's part of the reason why I desperately need to push myself to work out in the mornings. The evenings are just so unpredictable! My son had a horrible night, I'd say one of the worst in his little life. He was in a lot of pain, from what I gather as a gluten reaction. I'm not entirely sure because there were some new symptoms and it was definitely more traumatic than it has been in the past. Thankfully, I already have a doctor appointment scheduled for him on Monday, so I'm going in armed and ready with my notebook full of questions! The point being, I couldn't leave his side. He woke up right before I was going to clean up and start my workout. He didn't go to sleep again until 3:30am. There was just no way I could make myself get up and do anything then, knowing I had to be up in the morning with the other kid (who of course slept wonderfully and woke up bright and early!).

So, there you have it. A crap day, all around. I was pretty upset and shaken over my baby and his ordeal, and really, I just couldn't give any of my time or energy to exercise. He needed me. He wins over just about anything.

Day 7 - No words.

Say it with me....CRAP.

Weight loss is HARD.

I want to go to sleep and wake up 75 lbs lighter.

Why can't I?

UGH.

All crap, yesterday was, all crap.

Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap.

I know I want this, but why can't I just push myself and do it?? Hmmm?

Day 6 - Wednesday - Break day!

I didn't mean for it to be a day off. I really had every intention of pushing myself tonight.

But I need a day off.

Food: Not bad. Not the best choices, but within my calorie range.

Water: 8 oz.

Exercise: Just not happening.

I know. I need to push myself. But I need a night to myself! The kids are in bed, the house is picked up, I need some me time. And not me time sweating my butt off. Though that is good, quality time, I need pillow and blanket time. I need SLEEP. I need to relax and regain my composure for a minute. It's been one of those days in Mommyville. The Baby Boy isn't feeling good, the Princess is just too young to understand that he needs a bit more of Mama's attention on days like today. So now that everybody is asleep and peaceful, I need Mama's attention...with my pillow, my bottle of water, and whatever show is on Nick tonight.

Be back to push tomorrow.

Day 5 - Tuesdays are good days, who knew?

I wish this was easier. I wish I could go back to high school and never stop working out after graduation. I wish I would have gotten the help that I needed in college that may have prevented all this.

But, alas, wishing ain't gonna change nothin'.

I pushed myself today. I was so exhausted. Last night was rough. I was up late preparing for a meeting today (that ended up being rescheduled for later in the week, which is probably a good thing!), and then the Baby Boy had a really rough time sleeping. He's gluten intolerant, and when he has a reaction, his sleep schedule is completely thrown off. He's fussy, cranky, can't sleep, and has major tummy issues. My poor baby. :( So I was constantly trying to make him feel better last night.

That wasn't going to stop me today, though!

Food: I went over on calories. My total today was 1,702, which is about 32 calories over. Ick.

Water: Chugged down 14 oz. Yay me!

Exercise: Holy sweat, that Jillian Michaels is a crazy person - in a very awesome way! I did a 45 minute workout (52 including warm-up/cool down) cardio program by her today. I can't even express to you how gross I was after I finished, but gosh darn it, I finished! It was called Banish Fat, Boost Metabolism. I did it about a month a go, but today I pushed myself even harder at it. Her little pep talk at the end was pretty awesome - I'm going to watch it again tomorrow and write down what she said. I need some motivation every now and again!

OVERALL: So, yeah, went over a bit on calories, but I'm feeling positive about today as a whole. Got in some water, did some exercise, ate relatively decently. I at least went out and did something today, so that's a positive.

Now to do this all again tomorrow...yikes.

Day 4 - Oh man, I'll be sore tomorrow!

What an exhausting day! The first Monday after the holidays, getting back in the swing of regular, plain old everyday life.

Food: 1,280 calories, right on target. It feels incredibly weird saying that!

Water: One day, one day...

Exercise: I figured I would start out with a shorter video tonight, as I was pretty tired and it was my first day doing anything again. Oh man, I am sore already just typing this! I found a 20 minute kickboxing routine. OH MAN. It was wonderful, really, but crap. I'll feel this one in the morning...

OVERALL: I'd say a pretty successful day! If it was always this easy, I'd be in a size 5 by Friday.

Day 3 - Another Day of BLAH.

Well. What can I say?

Food: Didn't keep track today. I'm fairly confident I did alright, but still, no tracking is not good.

Water: Negative. Did enjoy quite a bit of my no-cal, no-fat, no-sugar lemonade. Does that count?

Exercise: Alright, alright, I got the point! I did nothing today!!!

Way to go, me, day 2 was a sure winner!

At this rate, I'm for sure in that bikini by June, no doubt!

Blahhhhhh. Tomorrow is another day. Again.

Day 2 - Spreading the Motivation!

Another day moving in the right direction.

Food: Perfect! Right in my target calorie range. I'm starving right now, though. Ugh.

Water: Still working on that first 14 oz. I will finish that tonight, at least.

Exercise: Hubby still on vacation from work, thus I'm still hiding!

I did motivate the husband to track his calorie intake today, so maybe we can do some of this together. It's nice to not be alone on this journey!

I'm really freakin hungry right now.

FOR REALS.

Maybe I will drink some more water.

That better help.

FOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!

Weigh In #1

It's weigh-in day, folks!

Yes, I DID step on that scale yesterday, but because I'm trying to create habits and routines here, I decided to do it today, as Saturdays are my official weigh-in days.

Previous Weight: 227 lbs

Current Weight: 225.5 lbs

WOOHOO! Ok, so I didn't do anything magical to lose 1.5 lbs overnight. I did eat well yesterday and did some crazy housework. I also weighed in around the middle of the day with all my clothes on. That adds poundage!

So there we have it. A positive start to my week. Let's see if I can make it past the first weigh in this time...

Day 1 - Here we go...again!

So, here we are. Day 1 of the year I change my life.

Starting with my body. Which needs some help, let me tell ya...

Food: One of the tools I'm trying to utilize is SparkPeople. It's a free site where you can log your food intake, water intake, exercise, and even join groups where you can get and give support in your journey. Pretty cool, especially the free part! Anyway, according to this site, my goal calorie range is 1,320-1,670. I did a great job today with my meals, I stayed under my calorie range right up until after dinner.

Then it happened.

I had some ice cream. Granted, it was delicious. However, that little tiny THING knocked me over my range by...brace for it...here it comes...

ONE STINKIN CALORIE!

That's it. I went over by ONE. I'm not sure whether to be proud of myself for being so close to goal, or to be angry for being sooo close and missing it! It was delicious, though...

Water: I enjoyed 14 oz of water today. Day one, I keep reminding myself!

Exercise: Insert a large *sigh* here. It's more frustration with myself and my image of myself. I'm slightly embarrassed to work out in front of my husband. I really shouldn't be, I know he won't make fun of me, but it's just the thought of him seeing me jumping around like a beached whale, sweating buckets - beyond sexy, I'm sure. He's home until Monday, which puts a damper on my workout plans. Unless I wake up brave tomorrow. Something to hope for, I suppose!

OVERALL: Not a horrible start! Tomorrow is my weigh-in day. Yes, I just started over today, and stepped on that scary scale this morning, but Saturdays are my official weigh-in days, so I want to get in the habit.

Off to dream of the weight falling off...or something like that.

New Year, New Me!

As of one year a go today, I weighed 231 lbs. I had grand ideas and visions of how AMAZING I was going to look by Christmas!

Well.

Christmas has come and gone. It's now one year later. I'm at 227 lbs.

Well, okay, let's look at the positives! I'm down 3 lbs! THAT'S good! I weigh less this year than I did last year. That means a new decade is starting and I haven't seen the 230s!

Ick, that's about as far as I can go with the positivity.

The fact of the matter is that I wasted yet another YEAR. A whole YEAR! That's not just a day, a week, a month...a freakin YEAR of my LIFE. Gone. With no progress made!

Granted, my family had a rough year. Medical issues up the wazoo (gluten intolerance discoveries, emergency surgeries, tons 'o fun!), moving THREE TIMES (once in beyond imaginable emotional conditions, once 1400 miles across the country), and loads of random events sprinkled in between.

Excuses, excuses.

Enough feeling sorry for myself or letting life dictate my actions. Just because things are tense or I'm stressed, those aren't good reasons to NOT exercise or NOT drink water or NOT eat right. In fact, those are just the reasons to push through and exercise and drink water and eat right!

So, I bid adieu to 2009. Peace out, homeslice.

2010 is here, and this time, I am actually going to freakin do it!